Progress update:
Well, MS must have gotten to method 2 just as quickly because they pulled the plug on that big update too.
@Edwin: I'm not sure if you got KB2919355 (770mbs) before they pulled the plug or if you got it elsewhere.
Anyway, I have found an alternate download site that several have claimed to be reliable; however, the downloads are always slow at "those kinds of sites" so I'll try to install it when the download completes (in about 10 minutes). If successful, I wil do some basic testing and update my finding accordingly. I will also do a full boot-time scan just in case as well and check the event viewer for anything new too. What the hack... a cat just can't help the urge to jump into a newly opened open cardboard box...