Windows 8.1 Apps won't launch whatsoever

AbortMission

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California
I've had this problem for a couple of months now and decided that it was bugging me to the point that I had to do something about it. I bought the ASUS laptop with Windows 8 already installed so I didn't have to do much other than update the OS. Before the update, everything was working well. Then after the update (or some time before), all Windows 8 apps would just stop launching. Every time I would click on an app from the Metro screen, it would try to open for a split second (when it does that screen flip transition) and then it would just take me back to the desktop screen without launching.

Separate programs that I've installed like Adobe Suite and Office programs work just fine. I have no idea what the deal is. I've heard of plenty of W8 horror stories yet I thought they were pretty rare and I assumed my laptop would be fine. What should I do?
 
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