Only the Second Largest

[Dragon Drop]

Texas was the largest state in the U.S. for decades, and then became the second largest in 1959, when Alaska became a state. At that time there was a story (NOT true, of course) about a Texan who just couldn't stand the fact that he no longer lived in the largest state, so he moved to Alaska. He walked into a bar and yelled "Hey, you guys, what do I have to do to become an Alaskan?"

The guys in the bar saw a chance to have some fun with him, so the bartender said "Oh, you just have to perform three tasks. Drink a quart of whiskey, shoot a polar bear, and have sex with an Eskimo girl."

"OK," he said, "gimme a quart of whiskey."

He gulped it down and said "That's one task down, and two to go. Anybody got a gun I can borrow?"

So somebody lent him a gun and he went out. Half an hour later he returned, now very drunk of course, and said "Here's your gun back. Two down and one to go!" and he went out again.

It was another three hours before he came staggering back, looking like he'd been through a war. "It's no use," he said. "I give up. I'm going back to Texas."

"So," said the bartender, "the Eskimo girls are too much for you to handle?"

"No," he said, "it was easy to shoot the Eskimo girl. But these BEARS are too much!"