8.1, need to temporairly cripple my own PC

Ok, so I have a laptop, Asus, that runs 8.1 as its OS, I also have a PC I built which runs the same. Since I made my PC I use that and the Laptop kinda just sat there. Then I got a new roommate who didn't have a pc so I said he could use it sometimes.

But now he is constantly on it, just plays games on it and is currently "in between jobs". I want him to get off of the laptop all the time and actually get a job. I want to cripple the computer so that he thinks he broke it or did something so I can simply say ill try to fix it, and just say its broken so I dont have to take it out of storage. Its old so I will tell him its no big deal its broken.

In an attempt to cripple the laptop, I have already taken 1 of the RAM sticks out of the laptop (2, 4Gb) so its now only using 1 stick. This slowed it way down, but he persisted still. I then took the laptop keyboard off, unhooked the wires, and reattached it. My other roommate had a backup usb keyboard, so it didn't do anything to him really.

Is there anything else I could install and hid somewhere that would eat up cpu and RAM secretly or something similar that I could remove myself once he is annoyed by it and lets me try to "fix" it?

Edit: He is a big LOL, player, is there a way to have the laptop run some sort of batch file whenever he runs this that would hog up a huge amount of RAM and CPU?

just pull the other memory stick..

If I pull out the other memory stick, will the laptop still be able to boot up to desktop, and just run very slowly, or will it not boot at all?

I was reading somewhere else after reading what you said and I saw that some laptop will still boot up, while others wont. This is the exact laptop I got (not from newegg, but somewhere else, laptop is same though, just "upgraded" OS later).
ASUS Laptop G Series G73JH-X1 Intel Core i7 720QM (1.60 GHz) 8 GB Memory 500 GB HDD ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5870 17.3" Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit - Newegg.com
I would prefer if it booted up and just ran super bad than not boot at all, at least for now.

No memory, it will not boot.

You could also remove the hard drive.

Not very often (if ever) do we get

How Do I Break My PC Questions..

You could give him a non-admin account and put in a power on password. Change the power on password every time he cannot supply a detailed list of the places he applied for work that day. Maybe the game addiction will inspire him to go on some job interviews.