Windows 8 and 8.1 Forums


New Apple OS to Compete With Windows 8

  1. #1

    New Apple OS to Compete With Windows 8


    (UPS) Concerned with the wild popularity of the new Windows 8 Metro Interface, Apple computer announced today (April 1) that they are introducing OS 8.1 within the next few months. Built into non touch screen monitors, the new system will eliminate the keyboard and mouse as obsolete, relying instead on 3.5" floppy disks to input information.

    The monitor will feature an IPhone camera, a solitaire game that actually works, a Start Button that will be easy to find (you push on it with your index finger), dual-booting so you can hang onto a system that actually works, and 8-bit technology that lets you play all those old games that don't work on Windows 8.

    A built-in anti-virus system will shut down the system if anything happens, and experts predict that the price will be well within the budget of people who have to download free beta versions because they can't afford to buy new ones.

    Apple dismissed reports that this is an April Fool's joke, pointing out that after Windows Vista, people don't think that ludicrous operating systems are funny.

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  2. #2


    Posts : 5,360
    7/8/ubuntu/Linux Deepin


    Thanks Vince - a smile is always good.
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  3. #3


    Portsmouth Hants
    Posts : 772
    Windows 8.1 Pro with Media Center


    Does it go "Da Daaah", like WALL-E does when it boots up?
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  4. #4


    Microsoft responded quickly by announcing a revamped version of their acclaimed Win 8 Consumer Preview available from April 1st. MS claim to have listened to consumer feedback and the new Win 8 will feature a new Task Bar that doesn't take up valuable desktop real estate. Instead it can be accessed by clicking on an invisible hotspot located 3" from the top left corner of the screen. To prevent accidental clicking, it will be necessary to hold the Windows+CapsLock+Tab keys down whilst triple clicking the sweet spot.

    Other innovations in response to popular demand are even larger fonts in Metro tiles and brighter colours.

    New Themes will include a Fruit Theme featuring a variety of apples native to each user's country. These background images will also serve as screen savers when the fruit will gradually rot before your eyes accompanied by the sounds of a flushing toilet.
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  5. #5


    Posts : 5,360
    7/8/ubuntu/Linux Deepin


    Hello Brian,

    That is pretty similar to how win8 is now
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  6. #6


    Apple also announced on April 1 that they have deigned a $20 laptop. The device has a monochrome screen, and includes TWO Start buttons, making it better than Windows 8. The two buttons are at the bottom corners of the device and are turned manually in order to run programs. Apple has solved the Metro vs. desktop controversy by eliminating both, allowing you to start with a blank gray screen.

    The system is completely immune to all forms of malware, lasts for years without a battery recharge, and allows you to design any apps that you like. Rebooting is simple: merely turn the device upside down and shake it, which will return you to the opening screen. Internet access is provided by the smartphone of your choice.
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  7. #7


    Palm Coast FLorida
    Posts : 370
    Windows 8 Pro ($39.99 upgrade)


    Also on april 1st, apple computers announced they were broke, too many free donuts and coffees for employees.
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  8. #8


    Posts : 5,360
    7/8/ubuntu/Linux Deepin


    If that was real - a lot would buy it.

    There seem to be legions who will buy anything with the Apple Logo.

    That's marketing for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vince53 View Post
    Apple also announced on April 1 that they have deigned a $20 laptop. The device has a monochrome screen, and includes TWO Start buttons, making it better than Windows 8. The two buttons are at the bottom corners of the device and are turned manually in order to run programs. Apple has solved the Metro vs. desktop controversy by eliminating both, allowing you to start with a blank gray screen.

    The system is completely immune to all forms of malware, lasts for years without a battery recharge, and allows you to design any apps that you like. Rebooting is simple: merely turn the device upside down and shake it, which will return you to the opening screen. Internet access is provided by the smartphone of your choice.
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  9. #9


    S1W2, it is real. I'm describing an Etch-a-Sketch.
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

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