Right so I got the Home Button to work, it minimized everything (which is how you launch the start menu in Windows 7).
KCU\Hewlett-Packard\HP Quick Launch\Event\Bezel Button\8606\Action Name, which is a string containing "Minimize Windows. The keyboard button accesses HKCU\Hewlett-Packard\HP Quick Launch\Event\Bezel Button\8607\Action Name, which is a string containing "Virtual Keyboard". Changing the value of the Action Name makes the button simply do nothing, most likely because I don't know what to change it to that will work."
Right, so I wrote the regKeys it says here and it worked. Now I need to figure out how to change it from Minimize Windows to Window Key.
Keyboard button minimizes the touch keyboard when it's open. So it's faster than aiming my big fat finger for that obnoxiously small X button