Windows 8 and 8.1 Forums

Joke Thread

  1. #51


    2+2+2=7




    You gotta love him!

    Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another
    2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?

    Johnny: Seven, Sir.

    Teacher: No, listen carefully...
    If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2,
    how many will you have?

    Johnny: Seven, Sir.

    Teacher: Let me put it to you differently.
    If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2,
    how many would you have?

    Johnny: Six.

    Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats,
    and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?

    Johnny: Seven!!! SIR!

    A very angry Teacher: Where in the hell
    do you get seven from?!?!?

    A very angry Johnny: Because,.... I've already got a ****in' cat!!!

      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  2. #52


    Posts : 273
    64-bit Windows 8


    A little boy asked his parents "What does havin' sex mean?"

    They discussed it privately for a few hours and decided to tell him all about it.

    "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I never knew there WAS such a thing!"

    "Well," they said, "why did you ask about it?"

    "Because today I bumped into another kid and he said "For havin' sex, look where you're going!"
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  3. #53


    The History of Medicine

    2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root

    1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

    1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

    1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

    1975 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

    2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root.
      My System SpecsSystem Spec


  4. #54


    California
    Posts : 1,714
    Windows 7 Home Premium S 64 bit


    Quote Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
    The History of Medicine

    2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root

    1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

    1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

    1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

    1975 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

    2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root.
    2013 Obomacare The root doesn't work . Here smoke this joint
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  5. #55


    Arkansas
    Posts : 412
    Windows 8 - 64 bit


    Quote Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Borg 386 View Post
    The History of Medicine

    2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root

    1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

    1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

    1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

    1975 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

    2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root.
    2013 Obomacare The root doesn't work . Here smoke this joint
    YOU are bad to the bone.. NO help needed ....... so there !!!!
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  6. #56


    Covington, La
    Posts : 1,181
    Windows 7 HP 64bit, Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64BIT


    Quote Originally Posted by The Howling Wolves View Post
    2013 Obomacare The root doesn't work . Here smoke this joint
    The joint won't cure your problems, but you won't really care.

    Jim
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  7. #57


    What harm can it do.



      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  8. #58


    Arnhem, The Netherlands
    Posts : 1,412
    Windows 8.1 Pro x64 Media Center Edition


    The man with the parrot.

    A man with a parrot sitting on his shoulder entered a bar.
    The man said to the waiter "One beer for me".
    The parrot said to the waiter "And for me a cola".
    "Shut the **** up" said the man to the parrot.

    Thirty minutes later....
    The man: "One beer for me".
    The parrot: "And for me a cola".
    The man: "Shut the **** up or I will nail you to the wall!"

    And another thirty minutes later....
    The man: "One beer for me".
    The parrot: "And for me a cola".
    Thus the man nails the parrot to the wall of the bar.

    The parrot looks next to him and sees a statue of Jesus hanging next to him.
    "Also begged for a cola?"



    Greetz,

    Rover
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  9. #59


    Posts : 273
    64-bit Windows 8


    Cartoon --

    Child on phone, screaming with rage:
    "Who do you think you are?
    To download your set of 5000 movies for one dollar I gotta wade through THREE menus,
    just because I'm not in YOUR f___in' GALAXY???"
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

  10. #60


    clever hostess

    A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland.
    The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
    “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

    So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs,
    and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

    The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

    "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time,
    and ask her explain that to you."
      My System SpecsSystem Spec

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