"I wonder if other dogs think poodles
are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner

I'd like to say I was smart enough to finish six grades in five years, but I think perhaps the teacher was just glad to get rid of me.
~Alan Shepard

A Guy

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges
~Jack Handy

A Guy

The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking... the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker
~Albert Einstein

A Guy

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Jack Kerouac

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
~W. C. Fields

A Guy

Originally Posted by MilesAhead

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Jack Kerouac

Classic :thumbs: [Apple esque].

Originally Posted by A Guy

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
~W. C. Fields

A Guy

[ROFLMAO]

Oli

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
~Paula Poundstone

A Guy

[Apple is] doing well on the PC side but Windows 7 is a blockbuster. We got it really right. For me, Windows 8 will be mind-blowing.
~John Mangelaars, Regional VP of Consumer and Online at Microsoft EMEA

A Guy

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
- Groucho Marx